I once saw a wooden sign in the clearance section at TJ Maxx that read: “The sadness we find in solitude can sometimes be the only solace which saves us from our suicide.” I considered buying it but I didn’t care for the font choice that was used so I had to pass. Still, I thought it was pretty profound stuff! Kind of a cool tongue twister too. Makes you think maybe we shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously. Maybe sometimes we really do need learn to LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE in order to keep ourselves from blowing our brains out. Carpe Diem!

Bonjour and welcome to Part Deux of Flo’s Freaky French tape series. Feeling alone and insecure? Just kick back and let the warm analog sounds of this tape hug you snug like a cozy knit turtleneck sweater. Still feeling cold and exposed? You can put on this black beret, custom tailored for your oddly-shaped dome and hide that bald spot. Feeling peckish? Nosh on this croissant and fill that growing belly with more butter. Feeling dumb? This music will make you cultured as shit.

Great for a nighttime drive through a crumbling suburban area. Contemplative moments interspersed with punishing dread, which will make you feel like a bad guy from Twin Peaks.

Last month’s meatloaf leftovers, wrapped in foil and placed into the microwave (on high) for 60 seconds. Fungus dies as sparks fly, but the heat purifies your blessed feast. Soak it in ketchup to help soften the encrusted ball of flesh. Your bowels will thank you for the inevitable tarry purge that will follow this meal. With friends like these, who needs enemas?

Sink deep into the heart of manic seasonal depression. In this global warming biosphere, there is no beginning and there is no end. Just burrow downwards, one track at a time until you reach the core. Be sure to wear a mask. Be sure to wash your hands. Sanitize your genitals and crawl into the Earth’s melting womb.

In celebration of bad vibes during the worst of times, this Bud’s for you.

The soundtrack to being a midnight janitor lost in time. It's always dark out, and you're totally alone with a vacuum cleaner on the 67th floor of a deserted high rise office building.